One drink is the perfect number of drinks for that to make Janet really laugh, gripping the edge of the bar for support just for a second. Oh my God, she actually loves talking to fantasy weirdos, she's decided. They make her feel so normal in comparison.

"Where to start? I dated this guy at the end of high school -- he was such a tool. I think he was selling drugs to freshmen, because when he took me out, he was always paying in cash and acting really weird about it. Like oh, you're welcome, my lady, just don't ask me my sources, wink wink. No idea why, because I went to this crunchy-ass private school anyway. Nobody there didn't have money." She scowls down at her empty glass. She doesn't want to get drunker than Luo Binghe, but she doesn't want to keep talking about men without another drink.

"Then, once I got to Brakebills... oh my God, you can't even imagine what a different breed of asshole the men turn into once they find out they can do magic. There was this fucker, Reggie -- and I should have known, because that's an asshole name -- who thought it would be so sexy to use me to practice this janky tattooing magic he learned from a hedge witch on winter break. I kicked him to the curb. Eliot laughed his ass off at me."